manquez-vous

Thursday, January 07, 2010;

It's ironic how one can feel so motivated and convinced that nothing is impossible just a day ago, and yet everything changes the next day.

I wonder why I am stuck in front of my computer without any thoughts now.

Today's tuition session really upset and killed my confidence. I didn't know that I have forgotten THAT MUCH of my secondary 4 A Math. It used to be a subject that I was confident of getting A1 5 years ago. As I have just mentioned, 5 years. Today I realised how much my brains have degraded in 5 years that I can be stunned when I see sin, cosine, tangent.

In the midst of lesson I really wanted to stop everything and just admit to her that I can't remember, and I want to quit. But I stuck on with it anyway, and even did overtime because I felt quite sorry for my degraded brains. I guess all the memories will return once I read the textbook, afterall it's not something that hard to understand like investments/derivatives etc.

I immediately called zhuzhu after my lesson and she came downstairs to have a chat with me since her house was very near. I really missed talking to her - it just felt so good. She's one that makes me feel comfortable talking about everything. Some friends are like that - you can never run out of topics no matter how infrequent you meet. I treasure this kind of friendship most.

I hate whoever came up with the word - 'networking' and dictated that it's important. I do not negate the importance of it but I do feel sick seeing fake NBS students sometimes. Why can't I be friends with you just because I like being with you, help you because I treasure our friendship, seek help from you because I trust that you treasure me?

How nice if we can choose which memories to lock, keep and delete. I would lock sweet memories, keep knowledge and delete unhappy nonsense. I badly need to keep what I studied.

I can't help wondering what I will be like 2 years later when I'm 23. Or maybe 5 years later when I'm 26? hmm...

stuck on you 1:32 AMY

Wednesday, January 06, 2010;

Had fun today. Really missed big group gatherings and my E group.

Went for lunch at Maxwell followed by a visit to the Red Dot Design Museum wif Yi and Michael. This museum is cool.. I want those stylish items in my future home!

We camwhored a little.

After that, we had coffee at the Pacific Coffee Company over there. Nice latte.. yumm..

Headed over to Pasir Ris chalet for Eytan BBQ wif the rest of Eyra. I realised that I really missed seeing my Eyra n Eliz. N I envy Eytan's closeness now. They are a bunch of fun people. Wished I had known them better. hahaa Eytan love drinking.. I saw around 4 or more bottles of alcohol? On the contrary Eyra and Eliz seem to not like drinking.. we stayed inside the room and called ourselves the 'old folks' home. wahahahhax

Had a great and long talk with MunFong on our train journey back. He really impressed me with his maturity and well-planned life. He knows exactly what he wants and how to get there. And he really motivated me to think through and plan my life - what I want, what I can achieve. Most importantly of all, he did not shoot my ideas down and convinced me that I can get to where I want to be. If this way don't work, there are always other ways to do it.

I really need a detailed plan in 2010 - what I want, where I see myself in 2 years' time. I hope that I can really get my plan out soon - only then will I stop being dejected about not achieving my school results and stop being unhappy cos I don't know where to go next.

But how do I plan when I do not even know what are the exact job opportunities/working environments available? I still think that things will get clearer once I enter the industry. Right now, I only know that these are the 3 urgent things that I have to plan:-

1. Grad trip

2. Targetted GPA for next sem

3. Career path - perhaps a regional post with travelling, private sector

I'm not going to moan about being unsuitable for BnF any more. Since I chose this path, I will make the best out of it.

Wish for 2010 - To find out what I really want and be happy. :)

i really don't know what to say or do to make you feel better. But I'll be there when u need me :)

stuck on you 12:34 AMY

Sunday, January 03, 2010;

I just went to put some salt on my ulcer cos I thought I heard somewhere that it cures faster? N it hurts like HELL i swear i'll never do it again!

Met ks for lunch n shopping today.. shokudo heeren has very good lunch promo! certain set lunches only at $4.80++! cheap n nice..

Bought a pair of goggles so that I can go swimming soon when i'm not feeling lazy. hahaax. Bought bro's bday pressie - a bag from fourskin. their huge carrier is huge lahx!

I think dad is super scared of me now, cos I'll always come home with shopping bag. Then he'll exclaim jokingly.. 'why my daughter so rich?' HAHA he's sooo funny.

I shall stop shopping.

stuck on you 11:04 PMY

Friday, January 01, 2010;

In case I happen to forget about what I did on new year eve (which I always do), I shall blog.

On the last day of new year eve 09, ying and I had a great dinner at MOF @ bugis. yummy foodd!

after that, we went to city hall to watch fireworks!! The crowd was terrible. Had to walk slowly and aimlessly with the crowd to find a good spot, and we finally ended up at the road leading to fullerton.

It's really a great spot and I was surprised by the proximity of the fireworks. It's the first time I'm so close to fireworks.. and we immediately became super high when the fireworks started.. yups, fireworks are really beautiful, and the sound of fireworks only made it more real. This year's fireworks lasted 8mins plus, and the different patterns are sooo beautiful.

I used to think that it's quite dumb to squeeze in the crowd and wait so long just to see fireworks. Why not just watch it through the tv on National Day? But after yesterday I realised that it's all worth it. The experience and feeling is really different. I was ecstatic.

2010 will be a great year. =))

After that, we did not want to squeeze with the crowd for the trains. I admit that I still hate crowds. So, we decided to walk all the way to the bak kut teh near dbl O for supper.

On the way, we met weiloong n his gf and friends.. such a coincidence!!

Yummy bak kut teh.... I haven had supper for ages.

After that, we had a hard time getting a cab as all cabs were either 'hired' or 'on call'. wad rubbish. The moment I called for a cab at UE square, it came almost immediately. I seriously suspect they just wanted to earn that additional $2.50 booking fee. Anyway, it's new year, so I shall not be bothered about small matters.

my 2010 started wif beautiful fireworks, amazing company and delicious food. I wish that luck will come my way.

Treasure and thank those who created wonderful memories; because they are the ones who really care

Forgive those who created unhappiness; because they taught you valuable lessons

Forget those unhappy and tough times; because it's all over, and you've sailed through it unharmed

New year, new start. I'm sure life would be better.

cheers! =))

stuck on you 4:30 PMY

Monday, December 28, 2009;

I just read my 2008 reflections for more inspiration, and the cruel fact that time flies dawns on me again.

I think I wrote a rather great 2008 reflection, and so, my 2009 reflection has to be better.

I ended my 2008 reflections with the hope that 2009 would be a better year. This made me rethink - was 2009 better? Did my wish come true? No.

2009 seemed to be a rather peaceful year in terms of fun school activities. No more camps, no more hall, great decrease in OG outings cos my batch is supposed to be a grandsenior batch... which meant that there were much fewer activities that really made me happy. I loved those days when I had OG outings one after another, cos I just enjoy laughing and joking with this group of interesting friends. I miss my eliz and eyra.

Year 2 sem 2 was horrendous. Projects after projects, endless exams. Comparably, year 3 sem 1 was a holiday - 3 modules with 1 of it which i hardly needed to attend lecture, minimal project work as compared to AB214. However, Derivatives was a killer and was enough to spoil my pretty timetable. I'm glad it's over. I overestimated myself and threw $1600 into the river by taking cfa. Good experience but it's not worth so much money. Ever tried taking an exam that you know you will definitely fail? I can tell you that it is totally stress-free once you get over the fact that it cost a bomb.

There isn't much things worth remembering about 2009. Bad memories don't deserve a space in my brains.

I partied like crazy during the first half of 2009, and tamed down during the second half of 2009. n I realised that it does not matter whether I partied a lot or not, my heart still got broken until it became numb. in 2009 history enjoyed repeating itself. the second time the exact story happened, I only felt half the pain. The pain did not stop when I drank more, or when I did not drink at all. In the first place, I shouldn't have let them enter my life at all. I'm glad that everything's over now. A boring life is still better than a life whereby your emotions run high and low just because of a special someone. I did say before, missing someone is a terrible feeling.

I'm rather surprised that I touched no alcohol for months. I'm also surprised that I totally do not enjoy clubbing anymore (most prob cos I don't touch alcohol). I admit that I do miss those fun days once in a while, and really got tempted to club sometimes. But every clubbing experience left me disappointed cos I ended up not having fun. As such, life's more peaceful nowadays.

2nd half of 2009 was a tough year. Deeply hidden family problems surfaced and forced a solution. Things changed greatly, and I've changed too. That period when bro got into trouble and grandma's health deteriorated was really no joke. But I'm glad everything's back to normal, and our family got closer cos of that. My greatest happiness for 2009 is that bro learnt his lesson and is a much nicer and receptive boy now. And my greatest wish for 2009 is for him to continue being such a good boy and never get into trouble. I fear that he will mix with the wrong group of friends again. That incident was bad enough - I do not need a repeat.

2010 will bring me one great worry - my career. For once I felt that I was lucky to hide in the education system and not worry about getting a job. Now I'm worried.

Oh wells... what's life without worries and a tinge of sadness?

Once again, I hope that 2010 will be a better year, and that I'll get a good job soon.

stuck on you 11:14 PMY

Had dinner @ marche wif zhu, ting, ekky and jo today...

Actually i used to hate marche.. cos i feel that it's an overpriced place with food that does not fill the stomach. n I'll usually say no if pple suggest marche or shoduko. (i've never been to shoduko before and i'm not interested in trying that place). lolx...

Hmm.. but it's the company that matters. Enjoyed today's dinner wif the gals.. and it turned out to be quite cheap.. maybe it gets cheaper wif more people sharing hahahax..

n zhu gave us essential oil perfume! mine's jasmine.. it's a very nice scent, smells like my favourite pokka jasmine green tea hahaax. love it~ thanks zhu!

Didn't spend much time wif them today.. we went home after dinner.. sorry for not being able to join u girls for shopping... i'll try my best to make it next time k..

Time to do my 2009 reflection and 2010 resolution.... wait till i get into the mood first.

exam results will be released at 12mn tml.. i'm so scared. i really hope to do well this time cos i spent a lot of time n effort studying. dont like it when effort dont pay off. boo.. =(

stuck on you 9:19 PMY

Friday, December 25, 2009;

Had a great xmas eve! good news, good food, good company, good chat.

Met up wif yukki wl and ks for dinner at watami, central mall. I love sashimi n their dessert! it's soooo yummmy~

then we walked around clarke quay and ended up at TCC for coffee and cakes. Clarke quay is rather crowded and there are many people queuing for all the clubs. lolx.

After that we walked down to boat quay and finally ended up at a bridge to take photos and talk. i enjoyed talking to them n listening to them talk.. it's been so long ever since the 4 of us had a gd chat (okay although wl kept on trying to boost his ego n ks kept trying to dig up my secrets)

can't wait for our lunar chillout.. =)

MerrY Xmas peeps~~

stuck on you 2:31 AMY

Thursday, December 24, 2009;

i'm glad everything's finally alright. god loves us afterall... =)

i don't like to play games.

1 more day to xmas~

stuck on you 1:40 PMY